


A 100 Days Of You

by rosescooper



Series: A 100 Pieces Of You [2]
Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, post-100hours
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-11-16 06:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11248107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosescooper/pseuds/rosescooper
Summary: It's been a few months but I have promised many of you a sequel to 'A 100 Hours Of You' and here it is.If you haven't read that one before, you can click on the series this fic is part of and you'll find the fic I wrote before this one.I hope you all enjoy this, it's gonna be fun for me to write :)





	1. Day Zero.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [earpsolano](https://archiveofourown.org/users/earpsolano/gifts).



> Also: happy birthday to the lovely Jess, I hope you don't hate me after this and I hope you have a beautiful birthday - love you.

_ Day Zero. _

 

The soft sound of rain drops on the windows mesmerized her which lead to the voice saying her name having to repeat it several times until her thoughts were finally interrupted and her attention regained.

“I’m sorry-“ She started, slowly shaking her head as to shake off the millions of thoughts going through her head. “What did you say?“

“I asked you how you were feeling today?“ The blonde woman sitting across from her looked at her with soothing brown eyes, as she wrote down something, without looking, in the notepad she always had in her lap. 

 

It took her some time to answer the blonde’s question. Her gaze wandered back to the window and she had to force herself to concentrate on the reason she was sitting there.

She looked back at the woman sitting across from her, noticing the few gray hairs that were well hidden by her very light blonde hair, the wrinkles on her face and fingers, however, revealing her true age. She definitely looked younger than she was.

 

“Rose?“ The older woman closed her notepad and leaned forward, her hand reaching out to touch hers as she did so. “Would you like to continue tomorrow?“

Immediately, Rose shook her head. Moving away her hand, she looked at the woman and opened her mouth as to answer the initial question. But ever since she had woken up, words barely left her mouth. Especially if it came to answering things like how she was or what she wanted to do with her regained life. And especially, when it came to remembering anything that had happened before the accident. 

“It’s late, maybe you would like to continue tomorrow?“ 

“Eva?“ The words were barely hearable but they had the desired effect. “I don’t know how I feel.“

The answer sounded honest and Eva seemed surprised. 

“Can you describe whatever it is you feel?“ She tried, once again, opening back up the notepad in her lap and scribbling something into it.

“Nothing. There’s nothing.“ Rose leaned back into the big old armchair she was sitting in and closed her eyes for a few seconds. “Why is there nothing to feel?“

“It can be hard to give names or colors to your feelings. Especially if you have been out of touch with them for so long.“ Eva’s calm voice helped Rose relax and eased her — enough to give it another try.

 

Over the past few months, Eva had tried to give her every possible tool to get back in touch with her memories, her feelings, her sense memory. And although Rose had followed every single step religiously, it had all been in vain. 

By now, Rose was sure she was broken. In some way or the other, and there was no way to getting her old self back. 

 

The red head looked at Eva, her jaw tensed up as she stood up and walked to the window next to the two armchairs facing one another. 

She looked out the window, watching as the rain drops danced their way down to the earth, the sky being softly suffocated by the dark.

Rose lifted her hand, her finger slowly tracing a single drop running down the outer side if the window.

 

“The moment before a storm“ She started, not looking away and choosing a new drop to chase down the window glass.

“A storm?“ Eva looked at her, not moving from her chair, her hand flying over the piece of paper on her lap. “Is that how you feel? Like a storm?“

“Like the moment before a Storm. Or the one before a kiss. But I’m stuck in that moment. The storm doesn’t start. The kiss doesn’t happen.“ Rose forces herself to turn around and look at her therapist. “It’s like the never ending emptiness between two moments. And I’m stuck in it. I’m awake but I can’t seem to take charge of my thoughts or feelings. Or the relationships I supposedly have.“ 

Carefully, Rose made her way back to her chair, letting her body fall into the soft seat. 

“Why don’t we talk about those relationships?“ Eva suggested, looked at her patient and hoping that she might feel ready to talk about the elephant in the room.

 

“She still feels like a stranger.“ Rose mumbled after a longer silence. “I know she is supposed to be something else, something more. But I don’t feel it. I don’t know how to regain that feeling.“

“You have been spending quite some time with her in the past few weeks.“ Eva recalled and Rose nodded.

“She respected it when I said I needed time after waking up. But she has been a great help lately with the doctors and all the appointments.“

“And the remembering?“ 

Rose shook her head. “I thought it would all come back to me if I spend more time with her.“

“But it hasn’t.“ Eva stated bluntly and Rose shrugged.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think whoever I was would have wanted to hurt her the way I am.“

“She’s trying to help you and you are not hurting her purposely.“ 

“To be honest, I would do anything to remember or feel anything the way I did before. I just don’t know what to do.“ 

“Maybe you haven’t found the right kind of motivation yet. The right kind of trigger for your memories.“

“There is one thing I don’t understand, doc. When you’re fighting for your life, there has to be something, or someone, you’re fighting for. And, obviously, I had that. It was enough to get me back. But as for now, I don’t seem to have it. There is nothing and no-one important enough for my memories to come back to me.“

“Rose-“ Eva leaned towards her but Rose pulled back.

“It’s been six months, Eva. If I haven’t found back to my old self by now, I never might.“

 


	2. Day Zero Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that my exams are over I will hopefully find more time to write and upload but, as always, don't take this as a promise. Sometimes life just happens and gets in the way. 
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoy it! <3

 

* * *

_Day Zero - Part II_

 

Rose smiled at the blonde as she opened the door for her. 

“Thanks.“ She stepped out the door and shook Eva’s hand.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Rose.“ Eva smiled back and watched Rose leave before asking her next patient to step into her room.

 

The redhead slowly walked down the stairs of the building her therapist had her practice. Once outside the building, she walked towards the parking lot, her eyes scanning the parked cars for a blue convertible. 

“Rose!“ The now familiar voice came from behind her and she turned to find the brunette leaned against her car, waiting for her.

“I didn’t see you, hey.“ Rose walked around the car and to the passenger side. 

“That’s alright. Are you hungry?“ Luisa opened the door and got into the car.

Rose shook her head, following her lead and getting into the car so that Luisa could start it and drive her home.

“So, back to the apartment?“ Luisa asked, carefully. Obviously hoping for a change of plans. For some change at all. Maybe this time she had remembered something in therapy.

However, it didn’t seem like that.

“Please.“ Rose nodded and tried to not let Luisa see how much she just wanted to be alone.

 

The sun was setting already as they arrived at Rose’s new place that was just a few minutes away from the beach, which she was more than thankful for. She had always found the ocean to have something calming, soothing but yet eternal and bigger than anything else. It had a way of putting everything into perspective.

 

“Thanks.“ Rose smiled as Luisa parked in front of her place.

“Always.“ Luisa smiled back, turning down the radio that had been blasting as usual so Rose wouldn’t have to talk.

But, after six months, Luisa was finding it more and more difficult to give Rose the space she needed yet being there for her all the time.

“Rose-“ She started carefully, waiting for Rose to blow her off. But she didn’t. Instead, she turned to her, waiting for Luisa to continue.

“Maybe I should tell you more.“ She started again, still unsure how far she would get with it. “I know you said you didn’t want to hear it all, especially because of what happened and the accident and-“ She stopped herself.

Rose still looked at her, waiting for her to make a proposal she could eventually agree to but Luisa just stopped talking, looking at Rose as if she was hoping she would finish that thought for her and just answer.

“I'm not sure if would help me-“

“It would help me.“ Luisa gently interrupted her. “I want to give you the time you need but I don’t feel like we’re doing everything there is to do to help you if you don’t even let me tell you about how it really was before.“

“You already told me-“

Luisa shook her head. “The only thing you let me tell you is that we have - had - feelings for each other but that you were with my father. And when I told you about how the accident happened you said you never again want to hear a word about what happened before that.“

“Because whatever it was lead to a man dying because of it.“ Rose defended herself poorly. She wasn’t even sure that that was the real reason for her not wanting Luisa to tell her everything there was to tell. 

Quite frankly, she was certain that, more than anything, she was scared. Scared of what they had had and scared to never have that again. Who was to say that, even if her feelings came back and she fell for her again, they would ever have what they had had before? 

“Rose, I just-“

“I’m sorry - maybe next time.“ This time it was Rose to interrupt her. 

 

Luisa watched as Rose gathered her purse and jacket and quickly got out of her car.

“Thanks again.“ The redhead murmured before closing the car door shut and hurrying into her apartment leaving Luisa behind in her with her thoughts and her broken heart. 

 

By now Luisa wasn’t sure anymore whether she would get her Rose back, or any part of Rose for that matter. Although she had done everything there was to do, she felt helpless. There was nothing she wanted more than to give Rose her memories back, give Rose her feelings back so they could have their old life again. But what once had been would never be again and slowly but surely, she was beginning to understand that. 

With every thought she spent on their old life together, or almost together, she felt her heart break over and over again. She didn’t know what was worse: the pain over the possibility that Rose might never again love her back or the fear of what might happen if she did - how different would it be? What if she never got her memories back but still managed to have feelings for Luisa? Would she still be as happy as she used to be with the Rose that did have those memories?

 

Whatever would happen, whatever could happen, as for now, she felt helpless and sitting in front of her lover’s apartment listening to turned down radio music alone and letting her thoughts suffocate her would not help her make it better.

Luisa turned up the radio, started the car and drove back to her own place. Once there, she opened the door to her dark apartment, being overwhelmed by the emptiness she felt inside of it. Without even turning on the lights, she brushed off her shoes and made her way into the bedroom, pushing away the memories her and Rose had made in that place. She took off her pants, shirt, and bra and crawled into bed.

It wasn’t until she was laying completely still that she realized how much she was shivering. She tried to make her body stop but it continued until her eyes fell shut and the shivering could finally stop.

 


	3. Day Three.

* * *

 

>   _“Can you hear me?” The brunette appeared in the door frame and made Rose smile instantly. “There you are!”_
> 
> _“I'm sorry, I fell in love with this place!” She turned around and around, looking at every inch of the room they were standing in._
> 
> _“It fits perfectly.” Luisa agreed, walking to her and placing a loving kiss on her lips._
> 
> _“We could even-” Rose wouldn't dare to finish the sentence but Luisa saw the light in her eyes._
> 
> _Children. She wanted to say have children and Luisa definitely agreed._
> 
> _The house they were looking at was divine. It was beautifully cut and big enough for two or three little ones._
> 
> _“We could.” Luisa smiled back at her, briefly caressing her cheek as the real estate agent appeared behind them._

 

Her eyes opened widely as she sat straight up, her body covered in sweat. Her hand pushed a few strands of red hair behind her ear as she got up to open a window, still shaking from the dream she just had had. 

"What-" She murmured to her self, her head slowly moving from one side to another trying to convince her that it had just been a dream. A fragment of her imagination. Lately, she had spent a lot of time with Luisa, had talked to Eva about her and had been forcing herself to remember a lot although that never seemed to work out the way she wanted it to.

Or did it? What if this wasn't a dream? What if it was a memory? But that didn't make any sense. She knew she had been married to Luisa's father and they would have never bought a house while she had been married to her father, would they? 

It took a while for her to remember what else had been so weird in that dream, weird but comforting at the same time. It took some time but when she looked down at her left hand she remembered. She had been wearing an engagement ring in her dream. Suddenly, her finger felt naked, something in her broke as she realized that it was not real, that it had just been a dream - or had it been a memory?

Her confusion led her to pick up her phone and, to her surprise, dial the right number as if she had always known it by heart.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up.." she whimpered, closing the window again. "Damn it." 

Without waiting for much time to pass she dialled the same number again but again - nothing. She wasn't picking up. 

Her hands folded over her head, her legs moving her through the bedroom in circles, her mind trying to figure out her next step. And her heart - confused, unsure what this thing was that made it skip a beat at the thought of whatever it was she had just experienced in her sleep.

 

The exhaustion of the sleepless night filled her body like an empty vessel. She had tried sleeping, had tried thinking other thoughts but she couldn't get herself to forget the dream she had had.

The warmth of the rising sun on her skin made her look at the time. Finally, it was late enough to get up, late enough to call her again. She felt her entire body shiver at the thought of actually discussing this with her. If this wasn't a memory but simply a dream, she would feel horrible for even making it a thing. But there was no room for doubts, no room for what if's. The dream itself was a big question mark. 

As if still dreaming, she moved through the apartment, getting ready to leave it. It felt like her body was doing all the movements without her actually asking it to. 

The sun was now warmer than it had been when she first got up but yet her body trembled and she was cold. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. 

Quickly, she shook off that thought and got into the cab she had called just minutes earlier. She told the driver the street she wanted to go to, surprised at how quickly she knew it. 

"You know what, you can pull over here. Thanks." They were only two blocks away from her destination but as the taxi moved past the opening shops she realized she hadn't had breakfast and with that thought came the hunger. 

"Thank you." She tipped the driver and slipped into one of the stores, hoping for it to be warmer inside. 

 

Balancing two paper bags filled with breakfast on her one hand and two coffees on the other she had no other way than to press the door bell with her nose and then, quickly, lean against the main door of the apartment building to open it as she heard the buzzing sound of it.

Rose was surprised that she had just gotten inside without being asked her name. But she shook off that thought quickly and hushed into an elevator that had just opened. 

"Thanks." She smiled at an older man who had held the door open for her. 

"Floor?" His cracky voice sounded comforting.

"Fifth, please." Rose answered, grateful that he had noticed her no-hands-free dilemma. 

 

She gave the old man a soft smile when the doors to the fifth floor opened and she stepped out. 

"Damn it!" The words escaped her mouth louder than intended but, thankfully, the elevator doors had closed already. Her eyes wandered along the hallway to her left as she realized that she had picked the wrong floor. She had been so sure this was the right one. 

Holding on tight to the paper bags, she pressed the elevator button and stared at the doors, cursing herself for having left her apartment today.

"Rose?!" The voice came from inside the elevator whilst the doors opened at the same time.

"Luisa!" Rose stepped back to let her get out of the elevator, putting on her best smile to cover the fact that every single cell in her body was trembling.

"What are you doing here so early?" 

The redhead was going to return the question when she noticed the running gear.

"I brought breakfast." Rose held up the two paper bags and motioned at the coffee. 

"Come in!" Luisa's eyes brightened up, a big smile on her lips.

Rose followed her down the hallway and into her apartment. 

"Let me take that." Luisa relieved her of the baked goods and the coffee, releasing her hands back to freedom. 

She watched as the brunette took out two plates and placed the donuts Rose had bought on them.

"Donuts?" 

"I wasn't sure if you liked them, I also got other ones." She motioned at the second bag. "They are powdered donuts."

Rose did not know what the bright smile on Luisa's face meant but she liked it.

"It's perfect, thank you." The brunette handed her a plate and coffee. 

"I'm glad." She looked at her coffee for what seemed like an eternity.

It wasn't until her hand's burnt from the heat of the coffee that she realized she hadn't said anything in a while.

Rose looked up, putting her coffee down. "Actually, I'm not here just for breakfast."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy this fic and will stay tuned. I will try to upload once a week but I don't wanna promise anything.


End file.
